Sasuke meet the Host Club
by Cijaina
Summary: What happens when Sasuke Uchiha gets sucked away from his blond and ends up at the ... Host Club? He ends up in the experimental hands of the Hitachin twins and the twins do what the twins do best manipulate. Crossover but the Main couple Sasunaru. MPreg
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

Sasuke Uchiha didn't know what was going on, one minute he's spending time with _his _dobe and things were getting good. He had just come home from a series of missions Tsunade had sent him on, you see he was still proving himself from when he went on his _I_ _must destroy everyone in the leaf rampage_. Not particularly an issue that put him the best light but it was something he admittedly regretted. If it hadn't been for Naruto admitting his love for Sasuke in the midst of the fighting he would have killed his now lover of six months.

Today was their anniversary and he planned on spending every minute of it in bed with_ his dobe_. But as he already stated, just when things were getting good he felt like he was being sucked through a vacuum, before he could do anything else he opened his eyes to be standing in front of a large door in a uniform he'd never seen before.

He figured he might as well open the door he had nowhere else to go. When he opened the door he saw a group of boys also in cosplay. Not that he personally had anything against cosplaying but still it was quite random.

"Welcome to the host club!" They all said in perfect unison. He sweat dropped and fell on the floor anime style.

"O wow it's a boy" one of them said it was the smallest one he was a blonde little thing he looked about ten and he was holding a bunny.

"Hey that's our line!" said these two twins, or at least Sasuke thought they were twins.

"Hey you two cut it out what if he's not a boy geeze you guys-"one boy wait no girl said.

"But Haruhi!" they wined simultaneously. Ugh Sasuke could tell those two would be the first on his _"kill before I get the hell out of this place list"._

"Hey I'm Haruhi" she said sticking her hand out it was then that I realized that she was wearing the same boys' uniform as the others and himself as well.

"Hey why you are in the boys uniform"he asked her, "Are you cosplaying?"

They all looked at him in shock and jaws dropped.

"What?" he asked.

Then the girl who was apparently named Haruhi spoke up again, "You can tell I'm a girl?" she asked.

"Well duh any monkey with a brain could tell." I scoffed.

She looked at me with the biggest amount of admiration in her eyes. Then something inside just told me to duck then an utterly random baseball flew directly at my head and barely missed hitting me.

"NO!" an obnoxiously loud blond yelled. He was obnoxious, he was blond but he was nothing like my blond.

Well this is gonna be intresting…..


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: If I owned Naruto trust me Hinata would've totally owned Pein's over pierced ass. Kay? Kay.

Chapter 1- Sasuke meets the Host Club

Sasuke's P.O.V

The girl stepped forward,

"My name's Haruhi Fujioka" she declared matter of factly, "And you ar—"

Then the louder ginger interrupted her, "Who the hell are you you're not a first year"

"He's not a third year" said the small one. Awww he's kinda cute, damn I feel like a pedo now.

"He's not a second year "said the obnoxious blond

"Again who the hell are you" the twins said simultaneously.

Damn gingers stop that I don't like chicks with pink what the fuck makes you think I'm gonna like two guy gingers to close to pink.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha that's who the hell I am" I say and almost instinctively put my hand on my hip.

"Oooo spicy little one aren't you" they said in unison.

Damn it that's the last straw.

"Look. I don't even know where the hell I am or who the hell you are, well except for you Haruki or whatever" I scoffed. Suddenly there was the little one that made me feel like a pedophile before. What the hell where did he come from!

"Well Sas-chan you're in the Host Club" he said.

The Host Club. Like a girls version of a gentlemen's club! My jaw must have dropped, because they all just stared at me.

"What?" I said. Then I felt the need to duck again. Once again a vase flew at my head, smashing when it hit the wall.

"Daddy doesn't like him" said the obnoxious blond one who doesn't make me feel like a pedo.

"Tamaki for the last time you're not my father!" Haruhi yelled at him.

"But Haruhi" he whined.

"No buts Senpai" she said "Sorry about him"

"Well anywaaaaaaayyyy" the twins said. Together. Again. Damn annoying gingers,"We're the Hitaachin brothers".

"I'm Hikaru" one said

"I'm Kaouru" the other said.

"Sasuke" I said.

"I'm Mitskuni Haninozouka" Mitskuni said, "But you can just call me Honey-senpai. Oh and this is Usa-chan." Damn it I feel like a pedophile again.

"I'm Mori" said another one. Geeze and I thought I was a stoic.

"He's Tamaki Souh" the twins said. TOGETHER. AGAIN! They only have one more time and swear I'll chidori their asses into next week.

"Ummm, why is he growing mushrooms in a corner?" I asked

"We're just not going to talk about that right name my name is Kyouya" Mr. Four-eyed said, "I'm the vice president of this club. The one you see in the corner currently managing his mushr4oom farm is our president."

"Mommy you're not helping. I don't like him he reminds me way too much of those damn doppelgangers!" Tamaki said no scratch that he whined.

"Tamaki you're not helping either quit growing mushrooms just because the girls aren't coming today doesn't mean you can do whatever you want to" Kyouya said. Wow I'm surprised he's not president, he's way more competent than this other one.

"And do please stop calling me mommy" he said, "I am not Haruhi's mother nor are you her father okay?"

"Yes" Tamaki said then he came out of the corner.

"So I'm guessing you're new here. How old are you?" Tamaki asked me

"I'm 15" I stated simply.

"Cool then that means that you're a first year with us" the twins said. TOGETHER! AGAIN!

"Look could you two not talk at the same time its really fucking annoying and I'm trying not to chidori your ass okay?" I snapped okay leave me alone.

"What the hell is a chiori" they said TOGETHER! That's it I'm gonna barque me some ginger! I did a few quick hand signs and watched as they all observed in awe. HA! Suck on that I don't know what wack job village this is but I'll show them.

"CHIDORI!"I yelled but nothing happened. WTF! They all started laughing. I tried everything the only thing that seemed to still work was my taijutsu.

Okay where the hell am I


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N) Hey thanks to everyone reading this fanfic I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while so to make up for it I've got not one, not two, but three new chapters for you guys before the end of this week so here's the first one! YAAYYY! *Cue Sasunaru kawaii dance*Oh and lemon too O goodie not tellin who it tho teehee. Kay here goes chapter 2!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did there would definitely be way more yaoi air time for Sasuke and Naruto together so we could all see Sasuke and his dobe together.

O BTW there's a slight lime in this chapter . This chapter's pretty much a filler for before Sasuke meets the host club. Kay !

**Kyuubi and Naruto talking**

_Naruto just talking to himself_

Chapter 2: Naruto in Konoha

Previously in Konoha:

"Sasuke stop it we're in broad daylight" Naruto said trying unsuccessfully to pry Sasuke's hand from his butt.

"But Naru-chan, baby I just got back from a two month mission. I missed you baby" Sasuke said. Suddenly Naruto found himself pressed against the wall in an alley he hadn't even known was there.

"Sasuke what if someone sees us and I told you to stop calling me that" Naruto said.

"Then I'll chidori their eyes" Sasuke said matter- of- factly.

"Sas-Sasuke you can't j-j-just chidori ev-everyone," Naruto said suddenly finding himself tripping over his words, when he felt Sasuke's hands reach for the waistband of his trademark orange pants. Naruto couldn't help but let out a moan. A loud moan. Then just as Naruto had predicted someone had heard. But of all people did it have to be him. Why him, jeeze there a like five hundred other jounin in freaking the leaf village.

"Oi Sasuke I see your back" and there it was the thorn of Naruto's side the silver haired copy ninja of the leaf village, Kakashi Hatake. Of all times for that perverted bastard to show up he chooses now what the hell.

"Kakashi yes I'm back and as you can see I missed Naruto very much" Sasuke said.

"That's great awesome even but you do know you're in broad daylight and Naruto is a loud person on a normal day. Keep in mind that's without being half raped in an alley" Kakashi said smirking underneath that mask.

"Kakashi quit harassing them your no better than Sasuke when you get back from a long mission, your actually worse" at first it was an unknown voice until to the two recognized it as the voice of their school sensei Iruka. Then it was like he realized what he had said and instantly turned a deep shade of red.

"O God I did not need that mental image Kakashi-sensei make it go away" Naruto said pulling away from

Sasuke.

"Aw come on Naruto where are you going?" Sasuke said with a plea.

"Home to go think about Tsunade when she's old that mental image is permanently etched into my memory damnit" he said.

"Naruto wait!" Sasuke yelled chasing after Naruto, "Damnit Kakashi!"

Sasuke caught up to Naruto just as he was putting the key into his apartment door.

"Babe you shouldn't run off like that" he said wrapping his arm around Naruto from behind.

"You know I hate it when you call me that" Naruto said.

"You know I missed you a lot these past two months" he said simply. Naruto let out a moan as Sasuke's hands roamed his body.

"Sa-Sasuke we're still in the hallway" Naruto said.

"I know that dobe"

"Nnnh Sasuke y-you t-t-teme stop it. At least let me open the door"

"Fine. Fine"

Naruto had barely opened the door when Sasuke pushed him to the floor.

"Ugh Sasuke"

In the blink of an eye Sasuke had rid Naruto of his jacket and was beginning to get frustrated with shirt. So he simply settled for ripping the shirt off of the blond. Sasuke leaned down to nip at the blonds' sensitive spot on his neck.

It was pretty early in and he already had a feeling in the pit of his stomach. He simply brushed it off as missing the blonde.

Naruto reached up and wrapped his fingers in Sasuke's hair as he moved down his body towards the waistband of Naruto's pants. Sasuke was already mentally ravishing the blonde. He knew he would have to take his time since it'd been two months since he'd physically been with the blonde.

Then he felt it again a feeling in the pit of his stomach. He stopped.

"Sasuke is something wrong" Naruto asked him

"No I'm just continually astonished by how hot you are" Sasuke said as he yanked Naruto's pants down,

"And sexy" Sasuke kissed Naruto's stomach.

"And gorgeous" he kissed the tip of Naruto's member.

"Sasuke stop nnh teasing me"

"Okay dobe you asked for it" Sasuke said before he took Naruto's entire member in his mouth. Then he felt it again the feeling in the pit of his stomach. Then he felt like he was being pulled through his stomach and then he was well, gone.

"Sasuke?" Naruto leaned up on his elbows only to see Sasuke was gone nothing left but his clothes which was really well strange.

"Sasuke?"

"Where'd you go you bastard?"

"Sasuke this isn't funny anymore"

Naruto's P.O.V

I realized four things in that instance

Sasuke was really gone.

That teme had totally left me hanging

I still had a hard on (damn teme's fault)

I should probably get dressed and tell someone.

So I before I could even get dressed I tool a cold shower a long cold shower. Did I forget to mention how long and cold my shower was?

I got dressed quickly and went straight to Tsunade's office.

"Granny Sasuke's gone!" I burst through the doors to see granny drinking what was probably one of her many bottles of sake before the end of the day.

Okay and cue the spit take.

"He what?" she yelled, "He went to Kabuto?"

"Well you see I'm not really sure"

"What do you mean you're not sure? When did you see him last?"

"Well, …. you see well it was when-"

"When what Naruto?"

"Whenwewereabouttohavesex"he said quickly

"When what?"

"When we were about to have sex, that's when Sasuke disappeared"

"Oh, well that's interesting"

O_O a cliffie yay!

R&R


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Hey I'm Baaaaaacccckkk.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto well Naruto wouldn't like me very much. Sasuke would but Naruto wouldn't

Hey everyone read the summary there's a new warning in there so just in case you decide you don't like that kind of thing you're fully warned.

Naruto's P.O.V

"So umm, how exactly did he disappear?" Tsunade asked me.

God damn it was she really going to make me say it wasn't she. What did she want from me specific details.

"Granny what do you mean?" I asked her as she took a pen a scroll from her desk.

"You know perfectly well what I mean Naruto we have to document his leaving"

"He didn't leave intentionally!" I yelled slamming my hands down on her desk, "He wouldn't do that to me Granny." I felt myself falling into a pile on the floor.

"He wouldn't leave me would he?"

"Naruto" I'm not sure when but Granny had come from around her desk and put her arms around me. And here I am a sixteen year old jinchuuriki holder of the nine tailed fox bawling my eyes out.

The last thing I remember before falling asleep were hearing the soft whispers of Lady Tsunade.

Normal P.O.V

Shizune walked into Tsunade's office to see the blonde sound asleep in her arms.

"Lady Tsunade is everything okay?" Shizune asked.

"No it seems Sasuke's has gone missing" Tsunade replied, "Shizune would you get Sakura for me she'll know what to do she knows Naruto best"

"Of course Lady Tsunade" Shizune said with a bow and with a puff of smoke she was gone.

"Don't worry Naruto we'll find him" Tsunade said stroking his hair.

"Lady Tsunade you needed me" Sakura said walking through the door. Then she looked down and saw Naruto in Tusnade's arms.

"Tsunade-sama what happened?" Sakura asked immediately kneeling down next to them.

"Sasuke happened" Tsunade said.

"That bastard I'll kill him" Sakura said.

"No no no I don't think this is his fault I don't know if it was a jutsu of some kind or what but Naruto is just really hurt and confused right now " Tsunade stated, "I don't really think he could take losing someone else he's already lost so much. Could you just take him home get him some ramen or something I just want to know he's in safe hands"

"Of course Lady Tsunade" Sakura took the blonde into her arms and out the door they went. In what seemed like no time at all they reached Naruto's house. Luckily the door was unlocked and Sakura got him inside and laid him down on the couch.

She went into his cabinet and found a box of instant ramen, actually it wasn't just one box it was a collection. She couldn't help but laugh of course Naruto would. She put the ramen in the microwave and when it was done put it in a bowl and set it on the table

She really felt bad for Naruto he'd never known his parents, majority of his childhood he'd been shunned by the entire village, and just recently lost his godfather.

Sakura herself couldn't imagine having to go through that and quite frankly she didn't know what she would do if something happened to Lee.

Suddenly Naruto began to stir and then he sat up to see Sakura leaning against the wall.

"Hey Naruto how are you feeling?" she asked him.

"Sakura?" Naruto said questioningly

"Yeah Naruto it's me how are you doing?" Sakura said.

"Actually not so hot I feel, - I feel" suddenly Naruto bolted to the bathroom.

"Naruto!" Sakura quickly followed behind him to see him lurched over the toilet.

"Sakura I don't feel so good" he said.

"Oh Naruto you look horrible" she while raising her hand to his forehead, "It doesn't feel like you have a fever. Maybe we should take you back to Lady Tsunade"

"Sakura?" he said.

"Yes Naruto"

"Do you really think he'd leave me Sakura?"

"No Naruto I'm sure he's trying to get back to you right this second" Sakura said rubbing small circles on his back, "Now let's get you to Lady Tsunade okay"

"Of course" Naruto said, "but can I get something to eat first"

"Yeah sure I actually made you some ramen"

"Sweet ramen time" Naruto said his spirits instantly picking up as he headed to the small table in his apartment.

"Thanks a bunch Sakura this is just what I needed" he said shoveling a large mouthful in his mouth but immediately regretted it. The ramen tasted awfull. He bolted for the bathroom for the second time that day.

"Naruto is something wrong?" Sakura said worry in her eyes.

" I think so the ramen has a horrible taste but it's my favorite flavor"

"Maybe we should take you to Lady Tsunade now"

"I think so" he said and with that they headed to her office

"Oh Naruto, Sakura what are you two doing here?" Tsunade said.

"Naruto isn't feeling too good" Sakura stated simply

"Granny the ramen tastes nasty it's not supposed to taste nasty. It's just not!" Naruto was having a fit.

"Well, follow me then" Tsunade said directing them to a small examining room.

"I would have conducted an examination myself but I was really worried" Sakura said.

"Well this shouldn't take too long and then Naruto I want you to rest and let us worry about Sasuke. Okay?" Tsunade said as she began to focus her chakra and checked the seal over his stomach first. Almost right away she noticed something strange.

"Um Naruto can I ask you a very personal question?" she asked, "and Sakura would you mind leaving the room?"

"Of course" both Naruto and Sakura said simultaneously. Once Sakura had left the room Tsunade turned to Naruto.

"Well here goes Naruto are you uke or seme?" Tsunade said with a completely straight face.

"Tsunade you don't just ask someone that like that"

"Uke huh that's what I thought" Tsunade said matter-of-factly.

"Hey what if I'm not uke maybe I'm seme huh did you think of that?"

Tsunade simply turned around and gave him a knowing look and Naruto immediately looked down at his feet.

"Yeah you're right I'm uke"

"That's what I thought"

"So granny whatever this is you can fix it right so I can eat ramen again" he asked

"I'm sorry Naruto but you're going to have to wait a lot longer to eat ramen"

"What why" Naruto whined.

"Naruto I'm gonna need you to look and me and take some deep breaths. Now listen" Tsunade said, "It usually takes three months before someone finds out but I think the stress triggered yours"

"Naruto you're pregnant"

A/N- Special thanks to Tobi-is-an-artist-too for giving me a kick start to finish this chapter at 1 in the morning lol. Momo I didn't make it the same way though I'm gonna save that for another chapter!

R&R


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys sorry I haven't been able to update in lyk a year no this story is NOT abandoned. My final year in high school has been pretty busy so i haven't been able to upload. I will hopefully be able to post a new chapter sometime this week. Keep your fingers crossed.


	6. UPDATE

Hey Guys,

So ummm yeah I'm not dead. Schooling has taken over my life lol. However I've been typing a few things here and there and I'm hoping to have something up soon

Sorry for the wait

Forget The Cookies


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